Delays

Da judge: "if your witness isn't here in the next 10 minutes I am going to have to dismiss this case"
Me: "Your honor, in the interest of justice I ask the court to not take that course of action. I called the two officers and was assured that they were on their way"
Da judge: "I need to set a precedent here and get the officers to show up on time, not when they feel like it"
Me: "I understand your honor, could we let the next hearing go ahead and I'll wait till after lunch?"
Da Judge: "Would you like to rearrange the rest of my daily schedule for me as well...?"
Me: "Sorry Judge, I was just suggesting..."
Da Judge: "You now have 7 minutes"
Me: "Would it help if I said please?"
(snickering heard in the audience)
Da Judge: "No it would not."